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BOFF Arrghh… Thats a big budgie!
ALL It’s not a budgie!
MG This is Priscilla, and she is going to live with us
BIFF Well, I’m sure that will be a rent increase, eh boss?
SQUIRE Er… yes… Mother Goose… Gertie…
MG Oh Squire, you haven’t called me that in a long time
SQUIRE Well, you know, for old times sake. Remember the time we went to…
BIFF Ah-hem, boss, a word
BIFF/BOFF CARRY SQUIRE DOWN “LOOK AROUND BUSINESS”
BIFF You are supposed to be telling her rent is late
BOFF Not arranging a date
BIFF And Boss when you tell her, try not to snicker
BOFF It sounds like your trying, to get into her…
(timed with previous line) SQUIRE DUCKS, BIFF HITS BOFF WHO FALLS TO THE FLOOR
SQ You’re right boys, what ever the Demon says, goes…
SPLIT HUDDLE
SQUIRE I have decided, not to increase Mother Goose’s rent by 50%,
BIFF Boss…
SQUIRE but by 70%!!
BIFF/BOFF Ha ha haaa
JILL That’s not fair
COLIN Dad, you can’t increase Mother Goose’s rent more than anyone elses!
BIFF Can’t he?
BOFF He just did!
| Character | Description |
|---|---|
| Mother Goose | Dame |
| Fairy Footloose | Immortal Good Fairy |
| Jill Goose | Principal Girl, Mother Goose’s daughter |
| Silly Billy Goose | Comic, Mother Goose’s son |
| Colin | Principal Boy, Squire’s son |
| Biff | Squire’s henchman |
| Boff | Squire’s henchman |
| Squire Soppy-Sausage | Straight man |
| Demon of Discontention | Villain |
| The Queen of Gooseland | Immortal |
| Butcher, Baker, Candlestick Maker, King, Queen | Other small parts |
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